Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Fool's Gold

I don't expect you to understand
I don't quite get it, myself
I love you so much

These weeks without you have been hell
Friends look at my face--
And say I'm not well

The hurt became bigger than me, Babe
Consuming
No excuse, just truth

I said I'd wait and God knows I want to
But I need something to fill the void
To fill the silence you've left behind

It's so hard without you
Worse at night
When the moon is high

And I'm so fucking alone
Trying not to cry
Wishing I'd never known you

Never heard your voice
Never saw that look in your eye
When you looked at me like I was candy

It's so horrible sometimes
And I'm so pathetically weak
But you're a closed door

And I can't pick your lock
I've tried--you know I've tried
I need a distraction

Or else go mad
Can't sleep, can't eat
Have to forget you somehow

But I know I never will
I curse your name when I'm out on dates
Cuz it should be you

It can only be you
Why can't you see?
Am I so awful?

I don't want your permission
I just can't bleed anymore
I need to smile again

I smiled for you
Tried to shine my light in your life
But you went underground

You're a fool
Stick to your drink and your games
Piss away your life--such a waste

I have to live mine
Raise my kids
I can't cut out my heart

Like you did.

1 comment:

  1. So well written through such pain.
    Picking a heart like a closed lock... sigh. Nice lines.

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