Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Hate

I can't stand to see him hurt
Sad people make me sadder
I hate that he's shut me out


And would rather wallow


I hate that he drinks
I hate that he acts like I'm dead
He acts like I never existed


And that it STILL makes me cry


I hate that he bleeds
Oozes words and booze and lies
Spins his line of bullshit


And I STILL read it!


Hate that I want him back
That I wasted 8 months of my life on him
Hate that I cry myself to sleep at night


And want only to make him smile...

4 comments:

  1. So, you're mourning the lose of an alcoholic who now pretends you don't exist? Let's repeat that phrase, an alcoholic who now pretends you don't exist? One more time for the really dense people, AN ALCOHOLIC WHO NOW PRETENDS YOU DON'T EXIST.
    You dodged a bullit; consider yourself lucky you only lost eight months out of your life.

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  2. Okay. What gives? Do you hate him?

    He's so much more than that.

    I'm trying to move past it. I use writing as a way to suck out the venom, you know? So that every time I write something I feel better--stronger. It's healing.

    But you have a point.

    I just wish that he'd be friends. He knows I'd never hurt him. I don't understand why we can't be friends.

    ReplyDelete
  3. He knows you'll never hurt him, but it's ok for him to hurt you? He won't be friends with you because he knows you'll always be waiting, hoping to be more than friends. And the only thing that matters to an addict is the next high.

    ReplyDelete
  4. He went a month without drinking. He could stop if he wanted to...

    It isn't right to drag this shit out here. Would you to email?

    ReplyDelete