Friday, July 1, 2011

Devotion


 Daddy bounced me on his knee a little and dragged the brush through my hair. I waited patiently for him to work out the tangles. “It has to be perfect, Cassie.” He worked until he was satisfied. He had me stand in front of him. A flower barrette pulled one side away from my face. My soft lacey dress looked bright blue against my tan skin. Daddy nodded with pride.

He took my hands in his. “Please understand, Pumpkin, that you’ve done nothing wrong. I only seek to protect you. There are dangers in this world…you’re so innocent...” His gaze drifted off along with his words. “I tried to explain this to your mother, but she didn’t understand. That’s why it has to be today. It has to be while she’s visiting Nan.”

Daddy kissed my cheek and squeezed my chubby hands. I knew that Daddy loved me. So I followed him. He walked me to the bed and I marveled at the pretty cushions. Soft and white with lacy trim, they were cool to the touch. I ran my hand over them. My bed at home was warm with cotton sheets that had Strawberry Shortcake pictures. Then I remembered my bear. “I forgot Yay Yay, Daddy!”

He kneeled down to me when he saw my lip tremble. His hands were warm and strong on my shoulders. “Be a big girl, Cassie. You won’t miss your teddy for long. Soon you’ll out grow him. You’ll see. Now don’t cry and lay down for Daddy.”

I lay down like a big girl. “I won’t cry Daddy.” I whispered as he tucked me in. He kissed my forehead, “That’s a good girl.”

I didn’t cry as he worked. I waited patiently, sure that he’d be done soon and we’d be going home. I missed Mommy. I wanted her to see me in my pretty new dress. But I started to panic when I couldn’t hear the dirt falling anymore. It was getting harder to breathe. I tried to stay really still, to listen for Daddy.

I could hear him walking away.

“Daddy?” I whispered.

Nothing.

I pounded on the box and shouted, “Daddy?!”

Nothing.

I didn’t like this game anymore.

I started to cry. “Daddy?”

I don’t like the dark. I wish I had Yay Yay. 

Tears splashed over my lashes.

“Daddy?”


21 comments:

  1. What? Who is this?

    It's a horror story about a father burying his daughter alive while the mother is away. Otherwise know as fiction. LOL.

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  2. Fuck me. I had to read that one twice to make sure I read it correctly.

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  3. Did I do something wrong here? I wanted to write something chilling, but subtle...did I fail?

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  4. No, on the contrary. You lured your reader in thinking that the dad was trying to keep the daughter safe and then punch them in the face with the actual horror of the situation. It was really well done; I just had to read it twice because I was genuinally shocked at the ending.

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  5. Sweet! Good. That's what I wanted to happen. I wanted something twisted. :)

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  6. Kat, this is fantastic! Yes, I'm sure you'll get a lot of negative comments, just because so many people don't like stories about children being hurt, or killed, but when you're a writer, and especially when you're a horror writer, you can't let that stop you from telling a Good story. It's good because it is so horrifying. Great job!

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  7. I presumed the opening "WTH" comment was more objection or revulsion at what he'd done to her than confusion. That he's buried her and left her to die is readily understandable. We're all doing awful things to kids this week in #fridayflash.

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  8. phew, for a horrible moment I thought it was something way baser than just burying her alive :-)

    I think you admirably achieved what you set out to do, subtle chiller

    marc

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  9. The burial is not where I thought it was going. But this is creepy and twisted, and perfectly subtle. Five stars.

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  10. Phew for a moment there I was about to click over as I can't read anything about adults raping children... But knowing how your mind works, Kat I know you wouldn't do that... Oh, I was so right, but so wrong!

    How could HE do that to his daughter...! What on earth did his wife do to him?

    Kat, it was wonderfully dark!

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  11. OMG ... I must go hug my child NOW!!!
    Delivered wonderfully and with gut-wrenching dread!!! Shivers.

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  12. He buried her alive! Didn't realize that until the last. Wonderful delivery!

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  13. I feel nauseous. I guess that means you did a great job! I have such a hard time writing the hard stuff. Way to go:)

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  14. Well that's just great. Now next time I bury a kid I'm going to think of Yay Yay and feel guilty.

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  15. Horrible and chilling. Nicely done.

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  16. Horrifyingly straightforward devotion. *shudder* Yikes!

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  17. james wf robertsJuly 4, 2011 at 10:53 AM

    i would love to recite this on my radio show. it would go down a treat.

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  18. Wickedly horrible, Kat. One of your best to date.

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  19. Why, thank you for this little tasty morsel of disturbia :-)

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