Thursday, December 24, 2009

Elf Madness

The eggnog was chilling nicely in a large cut-crystal bowl when Rufus found it. He looked to the east, he looked to the west. Everyone was busy making toys, wrapping gifts, and loading the sled. He hated Christmas. It was all work, work, work. Three hundred years of slaving for the old man and snot-nosed brats had gotten to him.

Not that he was bitter or anything. Rufus was a good elf. He worked hard, but he needed a break. Maybe he should vacation in Tahiti. He felt a moment's indecision as he looked around the room one more time. It was nearly time for the workshop to close. Everyone would pile into the dining hall and fill their cups with yummy eggnog. It was now or never.

Carefully he unscrewed the cap and poured the bottle of rum into the bowl. He stirred it with a stifled snicker. This was one way to take the edge off and liven the joint up a bit. He concealed the empty bottle under his vest and slipped out of the room--unseen.

A short while later Grouff, the foreman, called the end of day for the workers. They cheered happily that Christmas was two days away. They sang carols and laughed as they filed into the dining hall. The chefs had prepared a feast of ham and mashed potatoes and bread pudding. The bounty was spread across the table, capped off with fresh fruit and eggnog. A line formed as they filled their plates and poured eggnog into their cups.

Rufus watched from the far corner, waiting. Merry stood beside him and took his hand in hers. Her pretty face smiled at him and her nose crinkled a bit. He liked its little upturned tip. "Where have you been Ruffey?" He squeezed her hand and reassured her, "I've been here, Sweetheart." He kissed her cheek and bid her to go eat while there was still food to be had.

A half hour into the meal Santa noticed that the singing was louder than usual. He searched the room and looked closely at the flushed faces of his elves as they laughed and carried on. The huge bowl of eggnog was nearly empty. Henry and Carmichael were squabbling at the back of the room. Jenny was flirting with several of the elves around her--even those who were married. Why were they acting so strange? He couldn't imagine.

Santa stood up to call the ruckus to order when chaos broke out. Gary ripped his shirt off and yelled like Tarzan as he swung from the chandelier. Cheers and whistles roared across the room. Rufus crouched in the corner doubled-over laughing. Santa yanked the elf up by his collar. "What have you done to them, Rufus?"

Tears streamed down Rufus' face and he could scarcely breathe from laughing so hard. "I spiked the eggnog, Sir." Santa's cheeks burned. Jenny began dancing on the table and Gary was now acting like a monkey--hanging upside-down from the chandelier. Several fights broke out. Some of the younger elves where trying to climb up to the other chandelier. It was madness. Rufus laughed harder. Santa growled at him, "You have list duty tomorrow. I hope you've enjoyed your prank. Production better not suffer in the morning." He released the hysterical little elf and retired to his bedroom.

Before long, his wife joined him. She winked at him and he noticed a suspicious sparkle in her eyes. She trailed fingers up the front of his pajamas. "What's a girl gotta do to make your naughty list?" He groaned and pushed her away. "Mother, have you been in the eggnog tonight?" She stood up and started to sing "Santa Baby" while unbuttoning her blouse. He sat up straight and cried out--"Mother!" She winked at him and dropped garment after garment until his cheeks stung red with embarrassment for her lack of shame. Then she crawled up him--still singing sweetly. He put his hands on her shoulders to stop her. "Woman, you've been drugged! Rufus spiked the eggnog. Just get some sleep before you do something to earn a lump of coal."

She sat back on her heels and cocked her head to the side she laughed at him, buzzing cheerily. "Oh, Papa, I'm after a lump alright. But it isn't coal." She wriggled her eyebrows at him suggestively and straddled his hips. She leaned in close and rubbed her cheek against his scruffy beard. Then she tickled his big belly before kissing him hotly. With a clap of her hands the light went out. She nipped teasingly as his lips and whispered against his shocked mouth, "Where do you think Rufus got the rum?"

Merry Christmas everybody!!!

Thursday, December 17, 2009


The room spun as they embraced. Tongue rushing over tongue, hands searching out and finding pleasure. They fell entwinded on the bed. The room filled with lust and like and love. He hitched up her skirt and stroked her hips tenderly. She tugged his shirt off and kissed and nipped at his shoulders.

They'd known each other for a while and this tryst was long overdue. They wispered and moaned in hushed tones, moving as one. He pushed between her thighs and his beautiful green eyes glazed over with lust. She smiled and propped herself up to kiss his sweet mouth. His beard tickled her soft skin and she gasped as he began to move in slow strong strokes.

It was amazing to hold him, to touch him after so long. She almost cryed--so overcome with love and emotion. He barely made a sound as he brought them closer and closer to heaven. She closed her eyes and arched--unable to hold back. She came for him with wild abandon, crying out his name, clutching the sheets. Her body milking his finished him off and he froze as he filled her with seed.

He wrapped his arms around her and rolled her to the side. He held her tightly and buried his face in her hair, delighting in her scent. She stroked his arms for a moment before disengaging herself from his embrace. He looked at her in confusion, "What are you doing, Babe?" She smiled at him and kissed him deeply. He stirred again as she tugged roughly on his lower lip with her teeth. She snuggled against his chest and scoffed, "Just friends, my ass."

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Drunk Hovering

Lights flicker on the saucer
Farmer squints into the darkened sky
Tracks form in the corn
Another crop circle makes the six o'clock news

"Stop flying drunk!"
Screams the commander
His brightly colored decorations blind the Lt.
"Not flying--hiccup--hovering."

"Damn it Lt. you know the humans will report this!"
The Lt. slumps over snoring--shit-faced-drunk
The commander groans and rubs his temple
"I'm not getting demoted over this."

He kicks the Lt. to the floor
And steers the craft away
Taking off at hyper-speed
He cinges the farmer's crops

The farmer looks at his charred crops
He chews on a blade of grass
His wife joins him and says,
"Wish those damn foreigners could drive."

Cookie Monster

Tip-toe past the door
Creep up past the couch
Crawl onto the counter

Quite. Quite. Hush.
Don't drop the jar
Reach my grubby fingers in

Lick the mess away
Quite though--don't wake Mom
Mmmmmm...Midnight cookies!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Sing Along

Singing along with a song
I know every word
Makes me smile
Makes me feel like me

A welcome distraction
A pleasant childhood memory
Driving in the car
Singing with my Mom

Sunlight peeking through the trees
A trip to the beach
Water splashing over brown little feet
Funny what a lyric can invoke

Funny that it was so long ago
Feels like yesterday
When things were simpler
No man to complicate my life

No struggle to make ends meet
No people to be responsible for
Just warmth and laughter
Free as only children can be

*Written while listening to John Denver, "Sunshine On My Shoulders"

Sunday, December 6, 2009


You're such a fool
A crazy man
To take a heart that's pure
And to crush it under your feet

You don't want the complication
You don't want the frustration

So you think I'm disposable
You think you can toss me away
And be my friend?
You think to drown me in drink

I don't want the devastation
I don't want the isolation

I wanted to love you
To cover you in messy kisses
I wanted to be with you
To be a part of you

But you've broken my fascination
You've ruined every declaration

I was only ever sweet to you
I was only ever good to you
We laughed, we had fun
But it wasn't ever enough for you


Love burning in my chest
A time-bomb 'neath my breast
Kisses yet received
Words that I believed

Promises that linger
Crook your little finger
And I come falling once again
No pride, so why pretend?

I go where love leads
I wait and heart bleeds
So stupid to cry like this
So stupid to crave your kiss

Who pushes away the one they care for?
So selfish and cruel, yet you take more
I lick the wounds and seal my fate
Trying hard not to turn to hate

Have to stop obsessing now
Lest I lose sanity somehow
Self-preservation calls
Dump him and rebuild my walls

I opened up a vein for you
Let you see inside because you asked me to
This is how I am repaid?
Silence...silence staid?

Thursday, December 3, 2009


Everything is shifting sand slipping through my grasp. Plans laid down with hopeful joy have eroded into nothingness. The future is dark and uncertain drifting in a cold abyss. The sun seems so far away and stingy with its warmth. Little faces peer with elfin eyes and question everything. But I have no answers to offer. Everyday is difficult, lonely.

I close my eyes and feel the walls close in. They say I'm crazy. They say the walls aren't budging, but I see it. I might be crazy, but I still see it. Everything is changing--becoming something else. I wake and force myself to bathe, to dress, to put one foot in front of the other and take care of the elfin creatures. I force myself to endure and hope to one day break free of this jail cell, free of this depression.

I look forward to walking into the sun. Maybe I'll burst into flames. Maybe it'll just warm the chill locked inside my bones. Whatever the case...I long for wide open spaces and clear blue skies. I dream of lazy days and ice tea. Once I dreamed of kisses soft and sweet. But kisses bring pain. Kisses bring cold. Kisses brought me here.

I walk across the quicksand and pack school lunches. I run cold hands over cold arms. I kiss elfin children goodbye. I paint a smile on dry lips and dress to impress. Another interview. Another failure. Another day in this cold place. Another day without you. I'm on auto-pilot, lost without you, Babe.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


Whispered words
On heated breath
In your ear

Free flowing
All around
Two heartbeats
In sync

A rhythm
Only felt
Held close

A kiss
On dewy lips
That trail

And circle
And draw
Across taut skin

Just a moment
Lost once imagined
In my heart


Tuesday, December 1, 2009


I know your face so well
I've traced the lines
As we talked
As we laughed

I know your voice
Better than I know my own
I've closed my eyes
And felt it hum in my ears

I'm trying to be good
And not pester you
But I miss you
And love you loads