Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Hot Coffee

Hot coffee and reality
Settle like lead
In the early morning sun
Words that twist inside

Rise to the surface
Beckon me sweetly
So many things I wanted


A vision of the life
I thought I could have
Flickers in the shadow
Of your retreating form


But when one door closes...
Another opens
Even if just a crack
And hope swirls

A bitter-sweet thing
So tiny and delicate
Love for you lingers
And might never lay to rest


But he's sweet and gentle
Forgiving of my flaws
He's beautiful
Not like you

There's no one like you
But he's beautiful and new
Sweet and funny
As laid back as you are intense


My heart still beats for you
But it'd kill me to take you back
The next time you left
Would cut me to shreds

He says he'll always be there
He likes our tender friendship
He likes my smile
Says he'll make me hot again

He's a musician
Has tattoos and the face of an angel
A smile to rival the stars
Warm Latin eyes that see too much


He says we'll go camping
Snuggle while the sun sets
He'll play his guitar
I can sketch the mountains

Make love under a starless sky
Kiss and touch and be
While we're still young
And unburdened


It could be so beautiful
Not the manic thrill of being with you
Something softer
Something attainable


I can't unlove you
Or reconcile this strange creature I've become
With who I was
Who I should be

In the back of my mind I wonder
Is it fair to offer
A trembling wreck,
A shell of myself to him?

He deserves so much more
He calls every night
To tell me he's alone
Says I'm the only one he wants to unwind with


Being with him is easy
It's like being home
Being with you is amazing
Like a drug

I can't OD on you
Not anymore
I need his healing scent
Need the peace in his voice

I guess I'm letting go
In pieces
One fragment at a time
Take a sip of coffee

Grimace at the bitter liquid
Burning a trail down my throat
Brutality in truth
I really should add some sugar



  1. I really liked that. A lot of intensity in it.

  2. You're writing like a house on fire! Go Kat, go!