Monday, August 24, 2009

A Sexual Odyssey

Okay. So the objective is to write a complete story: beginning, middle, and end using nothing but dialogue. No connective tissue what-so-ever. No descriptions, no tag-lines, just conversation. A Sexual Odyssey is my attempt.

“You’re seventeen? OMG you’re the oldest virgin I know.”

--“It’s not that bad, Bethany. It’s not like I’m a leper or something.”

“Not that bad? Sure it is. You have no idea what you’re missing out on; I mean everybody’s doing it.”

--“Not everybody, because I’m not doing it. I’m not ready.”

“Rachel, you are such a prude. Are you waiting until you find your one true love? Gag! What about Shaun, he has needs.”

--“Don’t laugh at me! It’s not like that honest. Besides, you’re supposed to support me. That’s what best friends do. And Shaun is fine.”

“You’re right; I’m sorry. OMG, I forgot to tell you…I went to Kelly’s party last night. Anyway, there were some college guys there…so hot! Anyway, I let this guy go down on me. He had a beard and it kinda hurt, but it was awesome.”

--“Did you know him?”

“No, I told you I just met him at the party.”

--“What was his name? Who was he?”

“I don’t know…I never asked him his name. He was some old guy, but cute, and he gave me a beer and asked if I wanted to fuck, so I said sure.”

--“Bethany Jenkins! You can’t do stuff like that. What if he had aids? He sounds like a perv. What’s an old guy doing at a high school party anyway?”

“Trying to score high school girls, I guess. Maybe he was looking for a virgin. Guess you shoulda come with us then, huh?”

--“Where were Kelly’s parents during all this?”

“How should I know? You think I’m bad? Stephanie Summers took seven—yeah, seven—guys in Kelly’s room and didn’t come out all night. In the morning her mouth looked like a split grapefruit and she could barely walk. Now that’s a slut.”

--“Holy crap. She didn’t!”

“She did. Damien said she couldn’t come unless there was guy in every hole. Wha—what? Why’d you stop walking? Come on we’re gonna be late for class. Oh for God’s sake pick your jaw up, Rachel. People are staring.”

--“Something is wrong with that girl. Something happened to her, Bethany. Normal teenage girls don’t do things like that. We should tell somebody.”

“Sweet Jesus. Here comes the bleeding heart routine. Stephanie is fine. The only thing that’s wrong with her is that she's a nymphomaniac. Seriously Rachel, get off your high horse and get on your boyfriend. Shaun isn’t gonna hang around forever. Not when any other girl would jump at him.”

--“Bethany. I’m. Not. Ready. So back off okay?”

“Fine, don’t get bitchy. If you wanna be an old maid that’s your business. I just know you’d be less uptight if you got laid. That’s all. Shit there’s the bell. Gotta run!”


“You’re hair is so pretty. I thought about you all day Rach. Did you think about me?

--“Yes… Did you go to Kelly’s party last night?”

“No. Kelly’s parties are code for orgy. Besides, what do I need those girls for when I have you?”



--“Bethany said you’ll get sick of waiting for me to…you know…”

“Bethany’s an idiot and should learn to shut up. I’m not going anywhere…but if you want to do more stuff, I’m cool with that.”

--“Not yet, Shaun. I’m just..I …”

“Ssh…I know you’re a good girl. I knew it before I asked you out. Can I kiss you?”

--“I’d like that.”

“God, you smell so good…are you comfortable?”

--Well, my neck hurts at this angle.”

“No wonder you’re wedged against the window. Let me drop my seat back. Here sit on top of me. How’s this?”

--“Ouch. Now the steering wheel is in my back.”

“I should have bought a truck.”

--“It’s okay Shaun. We don’t have to do anything.”

“Are you kidding? I really want to do something. I mean I’ll wait, but…here feel this.”

--“Oh my gosh. Does that hurt?”

“Only when you keep saying no.”

--“Oh. Well, maybe I should get off of you? I don’t mean to tease you.”

“Well, there’s something you could do for me without having actual sex that would help.”

--“There is? Oh you mean a blow job.”

“It’s just an idea…do you want to see it?”

--“Your…your thing?”

“Yeah, look, it won’t hurt you. We’ve been going out for a long time Rachel…no one’s gonna think you’re easy if we do more stuff. Nobody has to know. I won’t tell.”

--“Okay…I’ll look at it.”

“See? It’s not scary. You can touch it if you want.”

--“Nooo…I don’t wanna touch it.”

“Okay. Well can I see you?”

--“See what?”

“Your breasts, your …you know…whatever you wanna show me.”

--“I don’t know Shaun…”

“Please Rachel. You’re so pretty; I just want to be close to you. Look, I let you see everything.”

--“Yeah, because you want a blow job!”

“Damn you’re skittish! Other girls help their boyfriends out. I mean who do you think you are? Fuckin’ Mother Teresa?”

--“Why are you acting like this?”

“Because I’m frustrated, okay? We’ve been going out for almost a year and you won’t even suck my dick. I should have asked Bethany out. She’d fuck anybody.”

--“I’m not comfortable with this sort of talk, Shaun.”

“Of course not. You aren’t comfortable with anything. At first I thought your little innocent act was hot. It was a nice change from the other girls at school. But I’m sick of it.”

--“But you just said you were okay with waiting? I don’t understand.”

“I’m okay with waiting if we can do some stuff, but this making-out bullshit is pissing me off. I’m taking you home, Rachel. You better think about whether you want to be my girlfriend or not. And stop crying. It won’t work.”

--“No, tears don’t effect assholes!”

“Miss Prim-and-Proper cussing? Shocking.”

To be continued...

It's hard to write without descriptions...hard to show Rachel's embarrassment, Shaun's anger, or what the characters are doing... It's different from the way I usually write. I'm not submitting to the contest I linked. But I thought the premise was interesting, so I started experimenting with this story. I'll post the ending tomorrow.

Have a good day y'all.


  1. Okey-dokey. Adding "young women" to the list of things that scare me.

  2. Anyway, there were some college guys there…so hot! Anyway...

    Anyway... I've been working on my new YA series. The hero is the ghost of a robot dog, that solves mysteries. His owner is a crack-whore with Tourette's syndrome. I was having difficulty with some of the dialogue, but I'm feeling curiously inspired right now.

  3. Anyway, like, for sure, OMG! Totally, awesome, rock on, you know, um, wassup!

    How many inane high school catch phrases can you take Anton? How many? Cuz I've got loads, from OH style to West Coast valley girl style. LOL. You're not scared of sweet little girls are you? Lol. Big strong, superior man like you? Pfft!

    "Tourette's syndrome?" Lmao!! Please tell me that you're not a profanity snob. I swear that if you walk around my town and that is exactly the way these kids talk. Not to mention...that story is pretty close to some kids I grew up with, lol.

    I don't think I like dialogue only stories. I miss connective tissue, lol. Softens the blow. ;)

  4. Please tell me that you're not a profanity snob.

    What I've learned about swearing

  5. I believe Oink is a perfect example which proves my point.

    Actually I'm just showing off that I've figured out how to embed links in my comments, and my new "Reading Room" blog. The fact that Oink is a perfect example is incidental.

  6. That is clever. How do you embed links in comments? Or make things bold?

    I posted in your reading room, btw. ;)